Ten Short RvB Fics!

So I did this meme! Fics vary wildly but all are rated PGish with, y’know, the usual amount of cursing.

1. Write down the names of 10 characters.
2. Write a fic of fifteen words or less for every prompt, using the characters determined by the numbers. Do NOT read the prompts before you do step 1. (I totally did way more than 15 words for each prompt. More like 100 or so per prompt.)

1. York

2. Carolina

3. North

4. Connie

5. Wash

6. South

7. The Coffee Guy

8. Maine

9. Wyoming

10. Tex

First Time: 4 and 6 (Connie and South)

            Connie eyed the other two female recruits. The redhead seemed unconcerned with introductions; she was instead studying a manual intensely. They’d all been given one when they were officially inducted into the program. Connie held hers loosely in one hand.  The other woman, the one with choppy blond hair and these eerily light blue eyes, had shoved the manual haphazardly into her jeans pocket.

            “I’m South,” offered the blonde when she saw Connie looking.

            “South what?” Connie replied, and that was when things started to go sour.

Angst, 7 (Coffee Guy)

            Steve had always wanted to be a barista. His parents were underwhelmed and told him all the time that he ought to do something more useful with his life, but Steve never paid them any mind. He spent hours and hours experimenting with milk froth and sugar and different types of roasts, figuring out how to make the Perfect Latte. So what if he wasn’t solving world hunger or that whole war thing with the aliens or whatever? He was proud to be the best damn barista at Starbucks.

            He was so good, in fact, that they’d wasted no time in promoting him to their alternate location, Spacebucks. Steve couldn’t help but smile to himself as he set down the hall to deliver two beautiful mugs of coffee. After this, he was gonna write a letter to his mom and dad about his promotion to space barista. They’d have to be proud now.

AU, 1 and 8 (York and Maine)

            “Hey, buddy,” called York, giving Maine – or the Meta, or whatever he was now – a sardonic little wave. His other hand gripped tight to his pistol. “Nice to see you’re still rampaging around.”

            Maine-the-Meta turned slowly toward him, and Delta let out a stream of warnings so fast they were nearly incoherent.

            “York, fucking shoot him already,” Wash growled over the radio from wherever it was he’d taken cover.

            “Well that isn’t very nice, Wash,” York drawled, taking a step back as the Meta took one forward. “You’re ruining the class reunion.”

Threesome, 3, 6, and 9 (North, South, and Wyoming)

            They knew Wyoming was really drunk when he leered from South to North and said, slurringly, “You…know what they say abou’ twins…?”

            Two fists hit him in the face from opposite directions at exactly the same time. There was a pause as North and South looked from a thoroughly unconscious Wyoming to one another, and agreed silently never to speak of this again.

Hurt/Comfort, 5 and 10 (Wash, Tex)

            Tex was aware that most of the people she worked with were stupid people. Therefore they had to be given extra time to learn simple things – such as the fact that it was probably not a good idea to compare your already-insecure-and-prickly love interest to your pet cat. So when Tex found Wash moping in the common room after yet another argument with CT, she did what was necessary to facillitate learning.

            She punched him in the shoulder.

            “Ow,” yelped Wash, snapping upright and rubbing at his arm. “What the fuck?”

            “Stop feeling sorry for yourself,” Tex growled, looming over him. “It’s annoying.”

            “Um, okay?” Wash said, shrinking back from her a little.

            Tex nodded and started to leave. “Besides,” she tossed back, “you’ve got nothing to feel sorry about.”

            Out of the corner of her eye she saw Wash blink wonderingly, as though this possibility had never occurred to him before. She left.

Crack, 1 (York)

            One day the Director was debriefing everybody for some mission when York had a revelation.

            “I’m gonna quit the army and start a farm,” York announced to the ship at large.

            There was a brief silence as everyone turned to stare at him.

            “Did you just interrupt me, Agent York?” asked the Director slowly.

            “An apple farm,” York clarified, ignoring him. “With cows, though. And goats. Maybe a giraffe. So like, a cow-goat-maybe-giraffe-apple farm.” He looked to Carolina for approval, but she just brought her hand to her forehead and sighed. Probably, he thought, because she was so happy about the farm.

Horror, 10 (Tex or maybe original Allison in this case)

            When she was a little girl there was a rhyme someone had told her.

Snakes and snails and puppydog’s tails

That’s what little boys are made of.

Sugar and spice and everything nice,

That’s what little girls are made of.

            But then she grew up, and she joined the army, and she learned that boys and girls were made of the same thick-flowing blood, the same splintered bone, the same bullet-torn organs. They all died the same.

            So she killed them all the same.

Baby!fic, 5 and 9 (Wash and Wyoming, takes place in the Family AU)

            “That’s not how you hold a baby,” Wyoming said, scowling at Wash as he cradled the newly-christened Desdemona in his arms. Wyoming had been the last of the visitors for today.

            “How would you know?” Connie retorted from the hospital bed, her face pale and drained but oddly peaceful. “You only hold babies long enough to eat them.”

            “Oh, bugger off,” Wyoming snapped. Wash just smiled.

Dark, 2 and 8 (Carolina and Maine)

            “What’s the matter, Maine?” Carolina sighed over the radio. She’d gotten about thirty feet into the cave before she realized Maine wasn’t following her.

            “Too dark,” Maine rumbled back.

            “Oh for the love of god,” Carolina snapped, and turned back around, stomping back toward the entrance with thoughts of dragging Maine in by the neck.

Romance, 4 and 7 (Connie and the Coffee Guy)

            Connie looked down into her Spacebucks cup and frowned. There was a heart drawn in the froth of her latte, and someone had written their number across the side of the cup with a cheeky, “Call me! =D”

            She looked up toward the counter. A barista, his nametag clearly reading Steve, turned away with a blush.

Deathfic, 2 and 3 (Carolina and North)

            North hadn’t believed it when they’d made the announcement. Nobody had. Carolina was the best – yes, okay, yes, Tex was technically best now but still, Carolina was one of them. She had been there since the beginning and goddamnit, she had to be there till the end.

            Agent Carolina has been killed in action. It was the worst lie he’d heard in his life.